Months ago, i was not ready to listen, i had put my faith in an old spouse and what she had said, tricked myself and felt she would come around.
what choice do i have really, listen she was really in my mind and heart, i didn't need her to make me happy, but i needed her.
i have tried to fix things for her our entire marriage, i didn't do a good job listening and my heart was to broken i was too depressed and thought just like someone that files divorce, theirs will be different, i thought by showing her how much i care, etc i could be the magic pill.
i am in a much better place than i was in september, i am in a much better place than i was yesterday.
it sux, but there have definately been some positives.
i bought a voice recorder, i am going to tell my story to myself, come clean on everything, purge my soul on every misdeed or good deed i did.
i may keep it for my kids later in life, but i've allowed others perceptions of me to be my reality.
time to move from that dependency to individuality, then maybe relationships will be better.
got all the knowledge, just need to start pushing through.
trapt, i'm not going to be in the car business much longer, my friends at the dealership are flipping me to something more along my strenghts but are going to pay me.
i'm going to be working for a non-profit group and helping families.
i need a break from the store, they have been awful harsh, because like you saying i haven't listened, they didn't like the time it took for me to turn the corner. they joked too much about circus music. i wasn't a nut, i was heartbroken.
well i have a good heart, the owner my best friend knows that and i also need to get away from him,, he was such an influence i handled a lot of my marriage how he handles his, it works for his wife that wants stuff. my wife and kids wanted a dad in a good mood, not stressed and someone that did, not bought.
can't control wife, but kids are going to have a dad that lives not watches anymore.
