I feel like Im starting to hate my WAS

[WalkingMan]

You need to let her go. Focus on yourself. As long as she knows she has power over you, little can change. She has to respect you and for this, she must see you doing just fine on your own and happy.

You need time away from the madness amd pain to find yourself again. It is my opinion that a WAW needs to know you love them, but you will not tolerate their inconsiderate behavior. Set boundries and take control of yourself.

In truth, the great thing about getting a life and working on you, is that whether she comes back or not, you are prepared.