LIMBO NO MO!

[iwantittowork]

GIMA,

It HAS been a tough week for you, so acknowledge and accept that. You made it through it, and now move forward.

You are in a tough spot right now, so don't imagine your going to be happy, or indifferent. That's just too much pressure on yourself to feel good about a situation that sucks. Just know that things will get better, even if they are not right now, and take every day and minute as you can.

I feel pretty strongly about not talking to STBXW. That may not be the most mature thing, but I find it impossible to have a "friend"ly discussion with the woman who so seemingly

This is my opinion, and others may slam me for it, but I don't care. You don't have to be 'friendly' to your stbxw. Why would you?

You however, CAN, be cordial and civil. That is different than being friendly.

I made this decision in my sitch: Why would I want to be friends with someone who destroyed my family, is currently crushing me financially, etc? Would I be friends with someone like that from outside my life? Sorry, but no.

Your stbxw has decided what she wants, and that is out. So be it, she can have that, but you don't have to agree with it, you just have to live with it, as it is her choice.

Now, focusing your thoughts in the above manner may help you return to what is important right now. Your kids and yourself. That's it. She owns herself, and her stuff now, not you. Don't spend you time trying to figure out what she wants, how she feels, why she is doing this, why she is cold, happy, sad, etc.

Right now, that is difficult to do when at home with her, I know..

What GAL stuff are you doing lately?

BTW, my opinion of you stbxFIL's behavior, is this is what happens when 'Nice Guys' don't work on repairing that bahavior. He was unhappy, as things were not 'his way' and rather than just owning it, he has to make everyone else aware of this.

I see this, and I hate to admit this, in my own father's behavior.

You know what though? Again, it's not our problem. If you waste time feeling bad, or being embarrassed from someone else behavior, it's akin to 'owning' that behavior yourself, and another 'nice guy' trait. You can't control it, only how you react to it, and what you will or will not accept in your personal life.

As far as I am concerned, if you had walked out during that, as a 'boundary' violation, that you won't be around people that behave that way toward you and your family, that would have been fine.

Kind of ranting here a bit myself, but hopefully you get some positives from my post...

Peace brother, and you will be fine and can handle this.