I would suggest looking up a poster named "mulesqb"s posts. If ever there was a roadmap for "strength and honor" in dealing with your children, in the face of incredible challenges from a blatantly disrespectful and adulterous wife, Mules' is it.
He's a real blue-chipper, and I think you could benefit from reading his stuff. What you are dealing with right now is COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE, but at the same time your kids still need you to be at your moral best.
