I realize it's counter-intuitive, but DBing is highly counter-intuitive. Let's face it, our "usual" way of doing things got us all into our messes in the first place!
MB, you have to reach a mindset of "It's not my job to make you feel better about your poor and selfish decisions." People in affairs try to, sadistically, use their betrayed spouse to soothe themselves and assuage their guilt. That's not your job.
