Thought I'd start a new thread since the last one had such a depressing title (I'm getting a divorce!). Not very encouraging since I'm still in the running!!!
Here are my previous threads (listed most recent to oldest):
Cindy ******************** Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the Prize! (1 Cor 9:24)
I have the same feelings. I have one good step and then I want to go back and start calling and doing all that kind of thing that just doesn't work. You must stay the course. He is noticing, but just like you look for any little sign that things might be changing with him, HE is looking for the same things in YOU! If you do what you did at the soccer field and the next time you are back to the not in control, sad, insecure Cindy you give that ammunition right back to him.
OK, you've made him raise an eye brow, hummm what was that all about. Now make him turn and really LOOK AT CINDY!
Quote: Should I talk to him? Or wait until he talks to me first?
I would be friendly. I wouldn't make a point to go talk to him, but don't ignore him. If he approaches you, talk, SMILE!!, stand tall and confident... FRIENDLY TONE- this can be a hard one when you are not feeling necessarily FRIENDLY inside, but you must!
Keep the conversation light and NO NO NO R talk or even hint of it. Briefly chat, smile and then go about you business.
I will be back to check on you in 9 days and I hope to see a lot of positive baby steps, OK?
Will do. Have a good vacation! I'll miss you while you are gone .
Do you think there is any hope for Rs after d? I want to think there is but since I've never been d I wouldn't know .
Anyone got any input on this? I've met one lady in my office that was d from her h for 5 years then they got remarried! Wow, that's encouraging!
Don't want to jump to the 'Surviving the Big D' until we sign the d papers...if that happens November 17. I'm just grasping for some light here in Piecing to brighten this darkness!!!
It's hard, but it'll be worth it if you resist your urge to call him...he's not very happy with you right now. You need to let him miss you and wonder why you AREN'T calling.
You're a great person, if he loses you he'll be losing the best thing that happened to him, remember that..you're not the one doing anything wrong.
Feelings come and go, you don't have to act on each of them, just feel them and let them pass on through you....
Missing him? Sorry to be so harsh, but you sound desparate to me and probably the way he's seeing you also.
Cindy, can you fill me in on what you are doing for yourself? Are you "getting a life" beyond your H? Are you taking care of you? Are you going out and doing things that are fun?
I know that when I was desperate...and boy was I ever...that I pushed H away more. When I started doing things for me and stopped calling him and waiting around for his calls...things changed! I can't guarantee it will fix things..but it won't hurt things and it will help YOU. Start really working on doing fun things...do you have a hobby? Did you ever think of taking a community ed class or joining a bible study group or getting a gal pal to start taking walks with you? Going to your kids' soccer games is great...but that's for your kid. What are you doing for you? If you want him to see you as important, independent, attractive, etc...then see yourself that way. Treat yourself well...go get a great new hair cut or a new blouse or a new dress. Even if you have to shop at the Salvation Army thrift shop for bargains...go get yourself something fun and nice.....
Stop focusing soooo much on him and get the focus back on you....YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Hope this helps a little...it worked for me and my R...so even if you know all this already, it never hurts to hear it or read it LOL again...
Be the you that you adore and others will adore you, too.
Yes, I'm getting a life. I go out with friends or alone on Friday nights, my boys and I go camping a lot, or we day travel to local towns and hang out. I mainly do a lot of reading.
Yes, I've bought tons of clothes mainly because I've lost 35 pounds since all this happened. And I make a point of always looking good when h is around. Started wearing makeup too, got my ears pierced.
I've stopped calling him and looking for ways to talk to him.
I'm just worried because our d hearing is November 17 and it looks like I'll be getting the d no matter what I do now. I've asked my attorney to seek a continuance of 6 months but we may not get that because h will show up to say he doesn't want to be married to me anymore. It's all up in the air now.
My sons tell me that my h did ask when we'd be leaving for our camping trip this weekend. I had asked h 2 weeks ago to go along but he has not replied nor do I think he will. Oh, well there is not much I can do now but look like my life has gone on and I'm ok. I see him this Saturday at the soccer game.
Camping sounds like fun. That's one thing I didn't get to with my son this summer. Next summer. My H tried to get me to go camping last year, but I wouldn't go...I was soo stubborn or maybe it was becuase he didn't ask me, he told me!
Keep busy. It's hard detaching at first, but it does get easier.
November 17 is four weeks away, that's a month, a lot can happen between now and then.
.
. 
I must seem so pathetic to him. 
