it's got nothing to do with you .... you're perfect.
Quite the opposite. As I wrote before, there is nothing wrong with her NOT wanting sex. Likewise, there is nothing wrong with me wanting sex. The only problem is that we are currently mismatched.
There is nothing wrong with menopause and its effects. It's a human reality. Likewise, there is nothing wrong with men like me who are just as horny as they were when they were teenagers. I would like my wife to be more sexual. My wife would like me to be less sexual. It's completely symmetric.
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Problem is - you're wife's not the one posting here or looking for answers - you are ... so what are you going to do about your problems?
What I've done so far is stay in the SSM, and after many years ended up having sex elsewhere. Not sure I would have repeated that course of action had I known how it would end up. I was too optimistic about my chances of fixing the problem earlier, due in great part to all the advice about how women reach their sexual peak later in life, and how therapy can fix things. And we had lots of therapy.
