Is my wife a WAW or is this a MLC? thx2brs

[are you kidding]

D has thrown a fit since Wed when I put my foot down about the detentions and she has gone out of her way to be cruel,even told me i was pathetic,so pathetic i don't have a wife. I ignored that, but this was suppose to be my wkend with her, but see i grounded her and i knew she and wife would get in way.

I texted wife have her ready,texted d be ready of course no help from wife.Get there have to go in house because d won't come out.she threatened ect. told her one more threat, will turn off her phone,she did the typical teen act, so i shut off her phone.she went ballastic, well wife didn't help out.said to wife with a smile, this could get ugly, you might want to leave, but if i have to put my foot up her butt and put her over my shoulder she is leaving with me,we are not going to have a kid end up in fostercare or pregnant,drug addict, all the stuff,you know the story.wife goes if it gets ugly she's going to call the po po, that's a quote!!!!

Anyway then the two of 'em use what I've told them and take it as their own, another story.But still got no D getting in the car.

So i say to myself F it. so i sit down on my couch in the house and say, suppose to have wkend with both kids,one won't go and i can call the police have the court order followed thru or stay here, wife laughed said keep me out of it, said trying to but you are not standing up for yourself or i letting her talk this way and one benefit of all this is, see you can still be her best friend,I'm going to be her parent.

Wife went ballastic, I mean she jumped up, put her finger in my face called me a cntrling mf'er then she flipping hit me, in front of my daughter!

and she didn't stop at one, she got in my face and shoved me all the way outside and to my car.it's 3 hrs later and my chest still stings where she got me good.

All time low, man, i felt low, should have seen D's face.

I loaded up son...took son to duplex, went to police substation and filed a report, no i didn't press charges, but she crossed the line.

i texted her,you put your hands on me, new all time low,turning my back on you.

and i'm serious, too. she hit me and bullied me in front of my kids and i had to take it.

i feel a lot better about the motion i filed, therapy for the kids, anger mngt for her so we can at least have open communication for the kids.

reduce my childsupport, 'cause I'm not making what I was, not even close.

And this one is going to set her off, but she can't afford the house and I'm not bailing her out anymore and she's boasting to everyone, her house, even said that as she hit me, it's my house get the f out.

atty filed a motion to sell the house, i don't want it sold,told the atty i don't want it sold, i know what atty is doing, atty trying to swap my retirement for the house. told her the otherday,trying to figure out a way for her to keep the house and she said she would take me for everything i had to keep the house.

well, see i'm sane she's not and no. and that's not vindictive, she thinks i've got all this money, what she doesn't realize is she spent it, i have $400 in an acct that had a whole bunch, but she spent the money.My retirement is less than the equity of the house, she's going to owe me money, but she doesn't realize it.

those last two paragraphs ramble a bit, but i'm ticked, i got no D, her phone is back on, she's not grounded like she was going to be, we're not skiing like i planned on taking them, i've been punched in front of my kids and of course like a bully she had an audience, the entire neighborhood, she made sure she made enough noise to attract attention, then i get a copy of the motion from the atty where atty is going for the sale of the house, i did not agree or even mention that the other day to atty, so i know wife is going to flip on that, because i did.

I think I should talk to kids about the house thing, otherwise I think wife could turn this and spin it good.

What do you think, tell the kids, not going after the house?It's part of the business part of a divorce so mom and i can negotiate a settlement?

that part of the motion, flat busted my word and i feel like atty ran me over like a bus, my atty also knew i needed to go out of town on a certain date and set the hearing up on the date i was suppose to go out of town, so not only am i not listening to you, no one will listen to me.

[Lotus]

Wow, AYK, that's all bad. What's with the attorney who won't listen to you? The daughter thing, that's really hard. How old is she? I don't know what I would have done in that situation. i just hate when situations get all drama and crazy.

[fisherman]

You are absolutely correct AYK. Your kids come first and they need two parents not two friends.

wife laughed said keep me out of it, said trying to but you are not standing up for yourself or i letting her talk this way and one benefit of all this is, see you can still be her best friend,I'm going to be her parent.

I really don't think you said anything wrong, again your daughter needs a mother NOT a best friend, but this flipped the mlc b*tch switch. You hit a nerve there, deep down she knows.

Its time for you to really go dim on her. You need it for YOU. Take a few steps back and only deal with her when you have to.

Let her sit a stew for a while. She'll have a harder time blaming you if you're not around.

[Mach1]

so not only am i not listening to you, no one will listen to me.

Seek to understand, then you , will be understood.

[are you kidding]

I went to a trusted friend and pastor today.

I have known him 19yrs, since college.

He knows my family intimately and us his.

I asked him to take over my role of praying for my wife so I can let her go, I handed him the tatered prayer I have kept in my pocket since 7/14/09 and he gladly accepted.

I took my wedding ring off.I put it in a sealed envelope with a Thank You note written to God. I had written the note months ago and unsealed it briefly, didn't read what I had written, I can tell you, I don't remember what I had written, just dropped the ring in it and resealed the envelope. I don't care if you think it's corny, I know the Lord is in my life, the card is addressed to him.

Other than with my friend/pastor, I have not mentioned her name today to anyone and I really haven't had any thoughts about her.

More for myself, the kids and us on this board.

I feel different inside, I don't know if it's the acceptance this divorce is going to be final, if I've finally turned the corner?

My entire insides changed the moment she laid her hands on me and did what she did.She hit me in the same places and did the same finger pointing in my chest a man that abused me for 9 yrs did,an affair,a std, a divorce was easier to handle than what she did last night.

I slept in a bed last night for the first time since 7/13/09 and I slept until 1:10 this afternoon, I went to bed before midnight last night.I didn't sleep that long because of depression, guys I'm just tired, mentally, physically beat and those thumps in the chest and the pushing me to my car for all to see and not a thing i could do about it, just finished me, i have no respect, no trust, no feeling towards her right now.Nothing.She texted me last night to leave her alone, all i could text back is you are alone.

I was the best friend she had and she crossed a line.She knew where Chuck had hit me and what he had done and she did the same thing to a tee even said is this what he used to do to you mfer.

I started my book, as you all know I am a lover of words and my fortune cookie months ago said "you are a lover of words, you need to write your book."

My hand is killing me.

[are you kidding]

Lotus she's 14 and has no feelings, she told me in front of her mother, she just doesn't care she doesn't want to care, she doesn't want to like, hate, be loved or loved, she said dad didn't even acknowledge her mom, i know you love me, i don't want to know heartbreak and I don't want to know anger i just want to chose and make myself have the numbness i have.

My 11 yr old is demanding as heck now and angrier by the day, then he has his moments, he must have come over 30 times today and given me a hug.

I did not cry or let on how hurt i was by their mom last night.

Have a feeling they're more devasted than me.

[kjensen]

AYK-
I have two daughters-age 12 and 14. They are both having difficulty seeing their parents separate and get divorced. They each have their own way of dealing. My 12 year old has said she is numb, doesn't feel anything, doesn't want to feel anything..hates me, hates her father..on and on.

Here's my guess/take...Your 14 year old has feelings, deep feelings of hurt and that is why she says she has no feelings-they are too painful, sometimes, to actually acknowledge and feel. Its easier to turn them off. But they are there and they won't go away overnight. The drama is probably partly due to the teen-age...but the feelings hurt all he more because of her age-she doesn't have the life-experience and maturity to know that this too shall pass, this isn't about her, painful feelings don't last forever....the sun will shine again.

It all feels bad and overwhelming now-her childhood isn't idyllic anymore. It can be a rude awakening at that age.

Be your children's safe harbor and lighthouse. Walk away from confrontation with your wife-its not cowardly or weak..its being an adult and takng the high road.

You are your children's father regardless if their mother is your wife or not. Be the best damn father you can. See this situation from their perspective if possible. Give them room and space but let them know you are there for them no matter what, without judgement. You can only control yourself and your reactions.

Find a way to forgive your wife and let go of the anger. One day at a time.

[Lotus]

That's good advice from Kjensen. I don't know if you are doing family counseling. If you aren't, then you should start. And in the future, don't try to punish her for grades. I know you feel you need to, but right now it may be too much. The failure at school is a reflection of the home life. She can't correct the school part unless the home life gets better. You can talk to her about her grades and that you know she can do better, you can encourage her to do better, but considering the situation, keep punishments to a minimum. It's just not worth it.

[are you kidding]

Yes son and I are doing divorce support group, motion filed was for D.

I accept her just the way she is, i was at the school to defend her, but it turned ugly.

that little girl has no idea how much she and i are alike and how much i love her.

hurts to say it, but this was an issue when married, if wife were not involved d and i do just fine, she is my spitting image and i need to get back the spit and fire that i gave her.

i've forgiven wife, not keeping score, the kids come first and wife is in the way unfortunately.

if i didn't forgive her there wouldn't have been a possibility if i didn't know what i was dealing with, it would have been real easy to be a real mean vindictive sob.

[are you kidding]

I'm tired of talking about my wife, really, I'm tired, she's not the same person and to say an alien enters their body is an understatement.

THE PREDATOR is more like it.

I mean she can take it out on me, but in front of the kids as many times as she has.

that's what's frustrating, cause kids see that i've been nice and can take a beating.