You do still have the power to say you won't live in an open relationship. If the only reason she would come back is he treated her bad would those be conditions on which you'd accept her back? Also ask yourself are you saying you wouldn't accept her back after a physical relationship with someone else because you wouldn't because of values & boundaries or because you're hurt and angry. You may think you need answers right now but I guarantee you snap decisions will be the ones you will regret later.
I dunno mark. I think it might be a little bit of both. I mean I'm beginning to think more and more she used her complaints with me as an excuse rather than a reason to end the relationship. I'm starting to think she wanted to be with this guy because he somehow excited her in a way I hadnt.
But instead of talking to me like an adult about her issues with me, showing me how much she was hurting, and giving me/us a chance to work on things, she chose to leave and destroy our family...and jumped right in with this OM.
I am indeed very hurt and angry. But with all this happening with the OM so soon after she left me, if it wasnt already happening before, it still feels like infidelity, even if we arent together anymore. It's wrong to cheat on someone...for whatever reason.
As I said, that she could wash away the 7.5 years we had together for a much older guy who she'd known for only about 4 or so months...really shows how little she valued me.
So yeah...would I take her back if she came back only because the guy treated her badly? I dont know...to me that seems like being a fall back plan. It hurts to think I would be...second best.
