She told me this afternoon that she is going to a friends party on the other side of town. Then she explained that since she feels uncomfortable driving over there late a night, she's just going to spend the night over there. She's never had a problem before; sigh, the lies never stop.
I just got home, and the entire house smells like her perfume, she's made herself up for a special night. Either there she's got someone that she wants to hook up with, or she just wants some time to drink herself silly without us knowing about it.
I don't know if I'm more upset at the thoughts of what she is doing tonight, or that I still let her get to me this way.
Yesterday, D17 told me that mom's nights with the kids (Tuesdays and Thursdays), W basically spends the majority of the time at the gym or in her bedroom.
The first three months of my sitch has been hard enough, and I know I haven't handled it the best. Now I'm dealing with the consequences of my inaction. This slow grinding process towards a D is a different kind of suffering, and its truly awful, as I'm sure many of you know all too well.
I can tell that I'm very confused and over-emotional tonight. I think I could really use some 2x4's or comments of any kind.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
