From reading other posts about this kind of sitch, I think maybe you should actually help him pack, in a friendly way. You are ready to move on with your life, so you are not exactly helping him as much as helping yourself. In general I think this is go DB'ing too.
I've been getting a lot from reading Ready2Change's threads, and this was his approach. I don't know if I'll be up to it, but that's what I'm working towards.
Other than that, I don't think you should ask him if he is having second thoughts. Take care of yourself.
(((JG)))
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
He is supposedly signing the lease tomorrow and moving next weekend-in 8 days and he HASN'T PACKED A SINGLE BOX.
H didn't even have a rental agreement until the day he moved out. The day he moved out he packed some things in the space of about 2 hours and that was it. In the 25 days since then, he has been removing his stuff, box by box. And asking for furniture, piece by piece. I wouldn't read anything into how he handles the logistics of this. It's easier if you assume that he will do what he says he's going to do. And don't make the mistake that I did of doing any pursuing before he moves out.
I wish you strength.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Well, he stopped by our office at lunch today. (We work for the same family business-my family.) He said he's nervous about meeting the leasing agent and signing the lease today. He asked "What did I think?" I said that's probably a good sign because this is a big step for him. I said do I wish you felt differently "sure, but I know you don't." I was very calm and dry eyed and collected....I'm proud of me. I didn't persue or act sad. We talked about "the talk" that we are having with D9 tomorrow. I'm going out with a girlfriend tonight to "celebrate her birthday." Quite frankly I NEED out of the house.
M-44 H-44 D9 S1 M-17 T-20 Bomb-8/09 EA/PA/MLC H moved out 2/4/10
It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.-Roy Disney
We had "the talk" on Saturday with first D9 and then my mom later. Our D9 cried but seemed to be a bit relieved to know that something was going on and now she knows it's that
"Dad is sad and has to work thru his sadness."
She called her two closest friends afterwards and went to see one of them. I had a really hard time sleeping the night before and so did H. He and I sat up for awhile talking about what he was going to tell her. I let him do the talking since, quite frankly he is the one that got us into this mess. Later we told my mom who was very shocked and sad. She loves H like one of her own.... this hurts so many. He has been packing all weekend. JG
M-44 H-44 D9 S1 M-17 T-20 Bomb-8/09 EA/PA/MLC H moved out 2/4/10
It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.-Roy Disney
Pass those hugs out to D9 she needs them to. She can also pass them back to you!
Validate her feelings. I feel it is important for her to cry. Help her understand and deal with her emotions. I decided it was important and OK to cry in front of my kids. S9 said "I didn't think adults cried" This lead to some good discussion.
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
she needs them to. She can also pass them back to you!