Looks like I found my inner strength just in time. H is MIA this weekend "in the city" for the second weekend in a row - and "going away" next weekend for his birthday. I'm fearing an OW.
Thank god for you all as last time I heard of an OW, I didn't sleep all night. Today I recovered by calling a friend and realizing I'm not interested in his games. If he wants someone else, I'm not going to put one more inch of energy into piecing. If he's just being mysterious to have power and control, to see if he can get to me, it's not gonna work.
He did his usual last minute declaration of when HE would be free to S this weekend - to drop by tomorrow. 180 - for the first time I stood up to him. I texted (not called like I would have done before) him saying I need more notice and I already made plans with S so he is welcome to join us in the evening. NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS LITTLE MYSTERY. And seriously, I'm fine. Wouldn't have been before.
I feel like a fool for believing we were growing closer. Time to live for me and S. Could be the end, stay tuned. I have to be prepared to hear there's an OW without reacting. I'm just not going to care anymore. I have nothing left to lose.
He's either going to join us in a mature family or he's not.
It's so up and down, I just cant read him and I'm too scared to ask if there's an OW - if there is, I'd rather not know. It would be too much a slap in the face.
I'm tired of trying when he's putting in minimal effort if anything.
Actually, If Ali is right, and I can trust my intuition, I don't feel he has an OW. He's always been a loner. But I also feel he could be trying to hurt me so I'm not going to let him. My gut says he is just trying to have time to himself. That would be fine but I'm not interested in the games of mystery around it.
ARRRRRG~Just when I thought we were getting somewhere!~
On the other hand, when there's an OW doesn't the anger amp up? His is toning way down! Maybe it's because he's getting laid I don't know! I don't want to flip out at him if it's nothing, I don't want to be accomodating to him if there's an OW - Arg here I go again obssessing. Not going to do it. Going to make a movie night with my girlfriend and enjoy the sunshine with S!
I don't know! I don't want to flip out at him if it's nothing, I don't want to be accomodating to him if there's an OW - Arg here I go again obssessing. Not going to do it. Going to make a movie night with my girlfriend and enjoy the sunshine with S!
