How do you get them to stop seeing the OP when...

[newmama]

Hi, nsw...I read your "mess" thread but sorry, I need to agree with the advice. Iwas thinking "he needs to let her go....set her free...let things cool off."

When she said that you ruined any chance of R, don't listen...she was waiting for you to mess up so she could say that. It was also emotional considering your natural but not to smooth of a reaction to OM.

Is OM really a predator? I will try to read your first thread to understand.

So I don't want to give you mixed messages but it is time to really do 180s of your chasing begging pleading (UNATTRACTIVE AND A CHEESELESS TUNNEL). Start right now. Pretend you never did anything and start being polite when you see her but don't call her or contact her unless it is about your daughter. ANd if you did it really really needs to be for a legitimate reason, like
"I will pick up D at this time. Thanks!"

Then just keep to yourself. Continue distracting yourself with self improvement goals, hobbies, making new friends, etc. Feel proud each day that you don't contact her and proud each day of the self improvement you did! You will go through major withdrawal and have ups and downs. You will obsess. Vent here!

And when you see your W during daughter exchange, look good, not miserable. Don't try too hard. Don't try to make small talk. If she does, just be brief in your response! DO NOT EXPECT IMMEDIATE CHANGE. IT WON'T HAPPEN. These changes will happen slowly...ever so slowly...in yourself and POSSIBLY she will respond over the months.

There are no guarantees in all this, but at least you can try your best and come out the end better for a relationship WITH or WITHOUT your W!

Oh and a 2X4 for having so many threads! :-) How can we keep up with you? Where will you be posting from now on?