Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

Hope, holy crap. You rock at your new insights and attitude. I totally think he could sense the difference. I do not doubt he can feel the pressure and expectations oozing from you when you're so focused on him and it puts him into fight or flight mode. Try to keep that detachment up! Whether it eventually draws him in towards you or it helps you be ok without reconciling, it's win-win.

Oh, PITA is pain in the ... I'm sure you can fill in the last word. LOL

Lost, you're on the money with us being independent women at one time and we morph into needy creatures. I was very young when I was serious with my H so I wasn't totally independent, but it was my mother I called when I had any problems (like a broken car, etc.). My H (then boyfriend) would get upset that I didn't come to him which is normal too--they want to be that fixer/hero. But I do think they then start to resent the very role they wanted. there needs to be a balance, I think. My H has recently mentioned about stuff I've had my father or his father do around the house and he asked why I didn't ask him. I told him I would have rather have chewed off my own arm than ask him for any help back then. Right from the beginning of our sep. I was dammed if I would ever ask him for anything. Maybe that ended up helping in the end...