Some DB tips may drive you closer to divorce

[luvless]

I was thinking about what you wrote, and I realize it's why I found another online board. For most of the people here, I think they are still very much wanting to hang onto their marriage, and to that end, these tips could work just as easily as they might not. If it's helping people, that's great.

But if I come across as cold, I think it's because I'm in a different space than a lot of the posters (here). I've gone through the grieving, the losing weight from stress, the yelling, the silent weekends. It was almost two months from the time I found out about the affair to the time I mentally decided that I was going to file for divorce. And I'm not saying that I was perfect either, and to that end, I'm going to individual counseling.

There's no doubt that people have experiences that shake them to the core, and for some, they become closer together. That wasn't the case in my situation. If anything, once I made the choice to file, I felt a true sense of peace. All before, I kept thinking what would we have to do to work it out, but in the deepest, most important parts of my soul, I thought...I cannot be married to a man who cheated on me.

Earlier in Jan, I thought to myself that it might be better to stay together for the kids, but now that we are alternating weekends and time, it doesn't seem such a loss. My kids still have a two parent household, just different houses.

We did good. Two great kids, together a long time. Gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run....

I really love this - I know where you're coming from - I like your posts. I'm sad to think I'm right behind you - but in a way - your post just helped a really scared me not be so scared anymore.