Where in the world did that come from !!!

[sandi2]

You were very strong during that tennis match! If she could see that it did not effect your game b/c it "she" was not affecting you, then it had a good outcome. Will you have anymore of these scheduled events?

I will tell you a little about my feelings regarding exposure. As a AWAW, it was still very fresh/raw from my POV and I could not agree with exposing for a long time. I saw it as a very vindictive act. It was after I read Old Chocolate Eyes thread that caused me to realize that in some cases where the D cannot be busted.....then bust the A.

I will tell you one thing that I don't like to see here on the board. That is when a newcomer is told right off the bat to expose his W's A and the board member doesn't give enough information or else they forsake that newcomer at the point of exposure!! That really upsets me. I have found myself caught a couple of times tryng to walk a LBH through that.....and the board member(s) who encourage the exposure left the thread and then the newcomer would leave b/c his M was really screwed after his exposure. I would never know what happened after the exposure b/c the newcomers would stop posting. It's not a good feeling, I can tell you that! The thing I appreciate about Puppy's advice to people is that he tells them exactly how to do it....what to say, etc. And, I've never seen Puppy forsake a person during the time of exposure. These are people's lives that we are telling them what to do and I know of a couple that it has worried me not knowing what might have occurred when the exposure took place.

Anyway, I feel that if the W is very blantent in her attitude about the A and just doesn't care who knows (including her children) then that is time for exposure (if there is anyone left to expose her to). If the M cannot be saved b/c of the A, then exposure is necessary.

There is one thing that always draws me back to my original feelings regarding exposure. I could not see myself being in the arms of the man who exposed me to my children, family, friends, etc. I think it would have affected future feelings in our R after trying to reconcile. It is very hard to explain from the POV of a WAW b/c the LBS will naturally see the opposing side of it. The exposure is no worse than the A was to her H. But, it is a problem that I believe will linger on unless the couple is strong enough to overcome it. Even if they do, there is the stituation with everyone else knowing that intimate detail of your life .....and that is tough.

So, even if I agree that some should expose....I think it needs to be throughly thought out and have all the facts of what to do and the possible outcomes/fallout.