New year, new thread, update of sorts..

[dmkdmkdmk]

He's the right age for QLC or quarter life crisis. More common than you think with guys hitting the ground running right out of college into a family and career; not deeply emotionally prepared for the forever part. Rapid rise to the top at work and suddenly peaking out leaves the rock stars looking around and asking "is that all there is?"

Used to only happen to 50 year old guys who had to work their way up over time. Remember blonde secretaries and red sports car movies?

You sound good with most of this. The runaways often want to slip through the back door into their old life without having to discuss their "lapse". They fear hearing about it every time they turn around. It keeps weak ones from coming back. Have you two talked about how to discuss? Boundaries? Rules? What's not fair, or plain hurtful? He may be more sensitive to some things than you think, even when he is trying to own up and face others.

See, he's definitely not "at the top"... in fact his highest education level is GED, but he has a pretty good job for someone with no higher education. I don't know if a lot of it is because around the time we started dating (at 19 and 20) he had to take care of his teenage brother and be responsible for someone else ever since then... I remember sitting with him waiting for his Lasik surgery and he was talking about always having to be responsible for other people.

Of course the other day, though, we were chatting on the phone and talking about how long it's been since we had no responsibilities, and I'm thinking back to high-school times when I could just drop everything and go to the mall with my friends - and he's talking about three years ago before our first daughter was born when we could just laze around all weekend...

We don't really have any boundaries for discussion. In fact, the separation is like the elephant in the room. We talk, we joke around, we play with the kids together... He tells me when I'm leaving for work that I can just call in and hang out with them all day (I really can't...) Sometimes it's like being married, just without the affection, and sex, and him living here.