Scared and need advice

[avermont]

Hey LFA-

I want to keep talking with you through this, as it seems we have the most similar sitches.

Update: Spoke with my cousin L. Left messages with other Ls to make appt's.
Realized: it will go to court. The judge will decide one way or the other.
Question to sort out: What do I want to do with my life, time,future?
I'm only fighting for the house to
a) keep him from moving her in
b) give me some stability while I sort out what I want to do
c) the principle of it!

But you, LFA, decided you didn't want the house? How does that feel, "handing it over" to him? I don't remember that there was an OW involved in your sitch. Do you have strong ties to the neighborhood, town, community that would be hard to give up?

I was feeling reassured for awhile from my friends and L that this will all take time, there's nothing he can do until it goes to court, there isn't any way for him to "force" me out.

EXCEPT! (cue ominous music) The tenant in the little separate house at the back is on a month to month lease. That's not our usual way of leasing, but that is how it worked out. Anyhow, I GREATLY FEAR, indeed KNOW, that
X will be angry, cruel, etc, enough to MOVE into that apartment if the tenant moves out around the time X's May lease is up.

You might think: who would be that awful? Bwahahahha! We have all read horrible horrible sitches here.

And this is the guy who ONE WEEK after informing me he was done with the R, was prepared to shove me into the other half of the duplex and have OW over--don't think they were thinking of living together at the time, but she would be here enough.

And I swear to all of you here, X was always known as the nicest, sweetest guy ever. How love/lust changes us!

So--I spent the night tossing and turning. Today sweating and shaking. So--
I need to go hard core legal and file a court date. I think that will be the only way to keep him from moving into the little house.

Trying to remember: is there anything I can do about the situation? Yes, I can see a lawyer this week and get good advice and start the action.
So there's no need to worry!
Is there anything I can do about the situation?
No, not until Monday, so there's no need to worry!

I hate hate hate that I have to go out swinging so hard and get so nasty so fast. NOT because I am "afraid" to drive him away. If I rolled over and said, "here, honey, here's the house, no worries", he wouldn't fall back in love with me instantly. Not that I want, expect, or even imagine that anymore.
.
I hate that I am operating out of fear of "what will he do." But from what he modeled this fall, I have to believe he would be cruel enough to move into the property

But I hate to be brought to this point. I believe in facilitation, compromise, people having open confrontations about what is bothering them--and instead this will all be done through lawyers.

So much for 23 years of love and trust and life.

I will appreciate all support and advice on this.

I don't want to have my heart/soul tarnished with vengeance, anger, spite. I want to do everything with integrity and honor. And I am afraid that proceeding with the house directly into court is all of the nasty stuff. How can I protect my need to stay in the house, for my stability and time to plan my life otherwise?

Thank you!