MSM;

Your welcome ! I'm glad you are finding help and hope you and H can improve your R so you can have great life together.
Have you read the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. ? I feel that book does pretty good job of helping to get a understand of how men and women think and feel different from each other.
You say you don't understand why men feel responsible for job, town, happiness. It kind of goes back too the old society standards of the man is expected to provide for his family and make sure that the family is successfull. Successfull in who's eye's? First in the eyes' of our mate and Second our own eye's, third ......family, Mother, Father, brothers, sister and four friends and aquantiances.
When, we hear things from our mate about being unhappy, we automaticly blame ourselves, you may not blame us but just hearing it we then take it on. Many times women talk about things just to vent and to try and feel connected. We take the "blame" just as if we go to dinner and if we (men) choose the the place to eat and it's a bust we feel bad. Did we make the food, no, did we provide the service, no we choose the place and that relects on OUR judgement so we feel like we should have "known". Same thing about the Town your in if you moved becasue of Him, (and we define that as our job, our our desire) he will feel it is his fault because HE accepted the job that brought about the unhappiness and there for he is reasponsible. We men many times feel then that "we should have checked out" the job, town ect. better and if we only had then the situation would be different. It's pretty linear thinking. A couple of thoughts of how to help him deal with this. If you had imput on the decission you might want to remind him that you agreed to take the position and that not only did he not see the problems and neither did you and that again you two are in this together and together you will figure out how to best deal with it. If you allowed him to make the decission then you might then say something like "you know hney I had and have the upmost faith and confidence in you no matter how well you check out something things can be missed, companies always put their "best face" on. Let's figure out a plan so we can move on together. Juat my thoughts hope this helps.

I think it's pretty cool you want to understand and make things better!