how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

didn't sleep well last night...kept waking up, forgetting for half a second that he wasn't right next to me. he'll be here soon, to get his things, move them to his own apartment on the other side of town. i talked to my DB coach last night, which was good. she understands the situation more than i can explain here on the forum without writing novel-long posts, and it does instill me with a little more hope to hear her say that our situation seems atypical. i guess everyone's marriage and story is a little different, but there's no real anger or resentment on either side for us...mostly just a sense of sadness and loss. obviously i'm still hopeful he'll come to his senses, but of course it hurts so much that he feels the need to move out rather than stick things out and work on our M. i told him at one point that IMO it would be easier to work on the M than it would be to deal with S and D and splitting all our things and dealing with the emotional aftershock of that. he said he'd already thought of that but he just didn't have anything left to give and he didn't want to work on the M at this point.

i still feel very numb. my husband, the man i vowed to spend my life with only 2 years ago, is moving to another apartment. i haven't lived alone since we met 5 years ago. it's not that i mind being alone, but i do mind not having him in my life on a daily basis. i did leave him a note about the furniture...i did end it by telling him i loved him very much and i didn't want him to go but i understood that he felt he needed to. which is kind of true. but i would understand a whole lot more if he'd asked me for some space and moved in with a friend or his family for a few weeks or a month...instead of finding an apartment, signing a 6 month lease, and moving out less than a month after dropping the S bomb on me. i understand needing to get your head back on straight and needing some breathing room. this just seems a little final to me.

positive thoughts, positive thoughts.