Just woke up - thought I would sleep late, but can't. Need to plan dinner for S - today is his 10th birthday. I can't believe he is 10! I want to make it special for him.
I know I will make it through this. It will be hard, painful and not fun, but I will be ok.
@working, I agree that I am ahead of my W as far as getting back in touch with myself and understanding my emotions. I don't wish any ill will upon my W, but I do believ there is a day out there where she will realize I am not the source of her unhappiness and will realize what she has done to herself, me, and most importantly, the kids.
I doubt I will ever hear about it (remember, my W has only apologized to me a handful of times in 15 years of being together), but I suspect she will have a tough time with that day. I plan on moving forward with my life, and plan to be in a much better place by the time she understands what she has done.
My goals now are to minimize the damage to the children, be the best father I can be, and continue to move myself to a place where I am happy and content with myself. In time, whenever God is ready for me to meet the woman I am supposed to be with the rest of my life, I know she will come into my life, and I will know what true happiness with a woman really feels like. I thought I did, and I thought I had that, but looking back from where I am now, I realize I didn't. I think I did initially, but then, that just went away.
Thanks to everyone here. Your support and kind words (and firm, needed ones too!) mean so much during the tough times.
