Honey, the very first thing you do is to not internalize his problem and make it about you. There is nothing wrong with you or your expectations. The problem here is that you have found yourself married to a man whose ideas as far as sex are concerned differ from yours. There could be a multitude of reasons why and he probably has no idea himself.
You need to take a good look at his personality. How does he handle other stresses in his life? Does he have a tendency to avoid difficult issues? Does he avoid confrontations with you when it comes to other unpleasant issues? His personality in all areas of his life will tell you how he will handle this situation.
This is a problem that affects his pride as a man and will also cause him to feel enormous shame. Those two things will cause him to back away from the issue and ignore it. He is ignoring his depression. His way of dealing with that is to let time pass and the problem will pass. He is wrong....problems don't just take care of themselves. There is nothing you can do about how he chooses to handle his problems.
You can, however, do something about the way you handle the pain his problem is causing you. I would suggest you read The Sex Starved Marriage. I would also suggest you see a therapist so you will have someone to talk to about the situation. Stay away from your husband sexually and stay away from any talk of the sexual differences. It sounds as if he is pretty closed off and feeling pressured right now. Do some research, read some books and don't engage in discussion of the problem until you feel you are better equipped to handle yourself in a productive way. Most importantly, do not think you are wrong to want your husband, do not think you are unattractive or unwanted by him, do not take on his problem as your own and do not let your needs be dismissed just because he can't deal with a senstive subject. Learn how to approach him in an empathetic way and then do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy. Good luck Cathy~
