I sent my SO a message tonight asking what she was up to, she replied that she was going to bed and turned her phone off.
I dont know why, but her turning her phone off made me think she might be with the OM...so I went over to her dads house where she's living, and confronted her.
She came out and told me to leave. I asked her who was there and she told me who (OM) and I said I wanted to talk to him. She said no, told me to leave or she was going to call the cops.
So I left. She turned her phone back on and I calle her to ask her why she was so angry. She told me that we're done, we've been done, and if I had any chance in hell of use being together again it's now gone. She said she didnt want to talk to me unless it was about our daughter medically.
I told her I wanted to talk to OM...that if he was going to be around my daughter I wanted to know who he was. And so he got the phone and we talked fairly calmly. I explained how it had been so soon since she and I parted and how this was my family that was broken up....and how we havent really had a chance to see if things could be worked out.
He responded with all the right things to say, how much he respected me and my position, how he didnt want to be a homewrecker, how he adored our daughter, how much he respected and cared about my SO and how if she wanted to work things out with me he would step aside. He said he had asked my SO time and time again if things were done between her and I, and she had assured him that for the last 6 months to a year we were more like roomates and she had had enough. Without calling it a "Walkaway wife syndrome", I ended up telling him how people in relationships/marriages can be having problems, and the one who's upset will try to tell the other that things are going wrong, but after a while they give up and so the other person assumes everythings ok.
I said that with him there, doing/saying all the things for her that I didnt that made her want to leave me, it doesnt seem likely that that would happen. He reiterated that he would step aside and let us be together and respect whatever decision my SO made. How magnanimous.
My SO then took the phone back and told me we're done...she said she's moving on...and if I keep harassing her she's going to call the cops. Apparently I wasnt harassing her today when I was wathcing our daughter while she got her hair styled (for OM I guess).
My SO was like night and day...the woman I posted about in the my sitch thread this afternoon was completely different than the way she was tonight. He was saying things to her...and she was like a completely different person. I think some of the things she was saying was simply because he was there. I wonder if he knows she and I have been spending time together?
Was she just playing me? She told me she wouldnt string me along...and while it wasnt like we were getitng really close, she seemed like she was considering me another chance.
So I guess I have no choice but to implement the boundary...no talk with her unless its medically necessary about our daughter?
Should I apologize to her and say it wont happen again? Should I tell her to forget last night ever happened?
Sandi, gardner, puppy....anybody. what do I do? I'm so scared and so confused
