I didn't anywhere say that the couples must attend together...
and Individual counsellors are not the same thing as a family therapist.
Separate sessions is something I think MOST good Family Therapists are going to pursue... Interspersed with a session as a couple if they have the sense it would be productive.. but separate at first certainly to hear both sides of the issues...
Where did I say the couple should not seek separate sessions?
I do think its helpful in some cases for the wayward spouse to hear and experience the pain they are putting their parnter through... a session as a couple in some cases may help move things along too...
Sometimes it helps sometimes it doens't.
My point is that NOT going to a good family therapist simply because you are busy having an affair makes little sense at all... people having affairs should be the first one's in the door...
Many people having affairs use their affair partners AS counsellors... thats part of the reason why counsellors are licensed... they ARE in a compromising position and need to maintain ethical standards...
Too many times people think they can help their friend and end up exploiting them sexually instead... these people are vunerable.. vulnerable people should be in some sort of therapy until they are well again
