"- Any decision that involved my daughter would have to be discussed before she acts"

This seems unreasonable. She is still the mother. If you D, she'll be able to make decisions without your consent. At least, you need to better define the scope of this requirement.

As you have it, it is not healthy for your M or for the mother/daughter R. You would be completely disempowering your W as a mother. Not good.


Best,
Oldtimer