Dude - you're in a much more awsome place mentally right now than about 99.999% of the people who journeyed this way before you.
Regardless of the direction your travels take you, you'll do very fine indeed!
As for her, she has no idea WTH to do or think right now. Things are pulling at her you can't imagine. You don't want to have to understand, and couldn't anyway. You should never have to. She has no idea what she truly wants or what will truly make her happy. Don't expect her to be 100% behind anything she says, or thinks for a very long time. She'll say or want what she thinks she is suppose to at times. She'll say or want what others want her to at times. And she'll try hard to 'reflect' her innermost fantasies onto her real self at times. She wants to be able to go back to her old life when she is ready; but is drawn to let go of everything holding her back from her fantasy life at this moment.
My X talked about what we might do with the bedroom flooring "if we got back together". Bedroom flooring !?#%$ when the entire world is falling down around you????
When you look for a place find something you and the boys will enjoy as a great base camp for all your adventures, as if that is where you choose to live indefinately. Choose perks. Don't martyr yourself. In alien speak, it will sell better later.
"Resources" say whether the alien finally comes home in the end is up to the LBS. What WILL be up to you in the end is how you choose to live given the things you can control, and in spite of those you can't. Your decisions must be 'for you' and the boys.
