D-day was 9 months ago.We have been married 19years.We continue stuggle with R. NC has never really stuck with my WS. I have recently found out about continued contact with OP. I am unable to stay married to her as long as she continues to have contact with OP. My wife says she will abide to NC this time. I have posted questions about telling OP's wife and the answer from this forum and Marriage Builders forum seem to be the same " tell OP's wife". I have not done that as of yet. I had a IC session scheduled yesterday and wanted to discuss this issue with my IC once again. My IC was emphatic that telling OP's wife is the wrong thing to do, she asked if I was prepared for the "carnage" I would cause by telling. She said it was the OPs place to tell his wife. She said it would only drive my wife away, maybe even force her to leave me for OP. I told my IC that if my wife wanted to leave me she would or she will regardless if I tell. My IC went on to say that it would "controlling" and "manipulating" of me to tell the OP's wife about the affair in an effort to force my wifes decision...I am very confused, I left my IC session re-evaluating my reasons for wanting to tell. I did share with my IC that I have been communicating in various forums on this issue. My IC still warned that it was not my place to tell. Please again any insight on the subject of telling OP's wife would be greatly appreciated......
