He said he is done!!

[gucci loafer]

At this point there is no OW.

WRONG..

Classic mistake on your part...

Think again.... I guarantee you there is another woman in the picture... You are in denial..

You won't be able to get this relationship on track until you face the facts.


You need to get the facts and find out who she is.


I know you don't want to believe what I say, but it doesn't matter what you want to believe. What matters is the truth.

[lostnotgone]

Well - this is a baby step... H called me and he asked me to come to the event. The kids really want me to go as too. There will be lots of folks and a busy night - Positive thinking make positive outcomes - right.

[lostnotgone]

At this point there is no OW.

WRONG..

Classic mistake on your part...

Think again.... I guarantee you there is another woman in the picture... You are in denial..

You won't be able to get this relationship on track until you face the facts.


You need to get the facts and find out who she is.


I know you don't want to believe what I say, but it doesn't matter what you want to believe. What matters is the truth.

I disagree - you do not know my H. We have issues but not other people! Not every marriage has to have another person involved.

[gucci loafer]

I don't have to know your husband...


AND if you knew your husband SO well then how did you get into this mess?

You ARE wrong.. Denial isn't going to help you and getting mad at me for pointing out the truth is only going to make this take longer..


I have been doing this for over twenty years. You are certainly not the first or will be the last to deny when there is an obvious affair going on...

Here is what you said on your first post...

It all blew up right before the holidays when I found out that he had been talking with another woman. He swears he never physically did anything

He is lying to you and you fell for the lie... Classic error on your part.
I would bet it is still going on..
This doesn't look like someone who knows their husband as well as they think they do or you would have known this earlier.

Please get to the truth. It will be then that you make the correct plan on how to approach your dilemma. Stop being in denial. Women that stay in denial are actually enabling. Enabling does not reconcile a marriage. It actually slowly ruins one.

[Coach]

How does he have the right to say "I am done"

It's easy when he has someone else.

Please get to the truth. It will be then that you make the correct plan on how to approach your dilemma.

I second this.

Too many red flags to not think he has another woman. You can handle it.

[NOMAD]

My apologies LNG.

Coach-Another huge bomb, please help.

NOMAD

[Steve McQueen]

I disagree - you do not know my H. We have issues but not other people! Not every marriage has to have another person involved.

Is you're husband still drinking himself into oblivion every night? or did he give that up recently...

[OnceBurdened]

At this point there is no OW.

Don't make this mistake. I did when OMW called and found her H was talking to my W @ 1500mins one month! Sure she told me they were talking, friends.

They weren't just friends I found out later.

BTW - Why would married people need to live apart? Is there any GOOD reason?

[lostnotgone]

I disagree - you do not know my H. We have issues but not other people! Not every marriage has to have another person involved.

Is you're husband still drinking himself into oblivion every night? or did he give that up recently...

No he is not drinking - he has not drank in a month - I know this b/c he is staying with his mother for now.

[lostnotgone]

The kids and I went to the event - everything was going well - H and I even had some casual conversion. We share many of the same really good friends so it was good to see them too.

Then it went down hill - but I did a 180. He was talking with some of the folks. He starting laughing and joking about having a house - how he needed a room mate!! In front of our children.

Typically when things upset me like this did I would blow. I calmly walked away. My S19 saw me and he was upset as well. At that point about all conversion between me and H stopped and D13/D16 and I left. S19 stayed - I have a feeling that he is going to speaking with his father and let him know how that made him feel. My son is VERY protective of me.

I am one of those mom's (sure that there are many of you here) that when someone/anyone does anything to hurt their children turn into the wild lioness. I will be bringing this up with him - last night was just not the right place.

As for another woman - I still do not believe that there is one - but I will do some checking. How do I do this ? When all this came out he admitted that he was wrong and told me that he had told her that he could no longer speak to her and all communication stopped. Maybe I am in denial. Maybe I just want to believe him when he says nothing it was nothing physical - but he is still talking with her - the emotional affair will hurt even MORE than a physical one!