Another pleasant evening, H cooked dinner although I now pop in and out of the kitchen visiting when he is doing things so that the horrible feeling of being out there on your own and no ones cares (I know what that feels like) doesnt happen.
Had our usual cuddle time, and off to bed wink wink..
One of the things I thought I'd struggle with was the things he had bought whilst away, but I have tried to validate his choices on things and find homes for them and also I do think he is a little proud of buying stuff on his own. So it would not be a good move to get upset about them.
He is away pursuing his hobby for a few days this weekend so Im just gonna relax and enjoy myself a bit.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Congratulations on a smooth first few days. Here's to more in the future. I'm curious to see how you two deal with the topic of the past. Seems neither of you may ever truly understand the why of what happened. I wonder if it will become a point of struggle in the future for both of you to want to be validated and completely understood on the topic of the break-up. I wonder if people can go on and accept that they will never fully validate for the other or completely understand these things.
rr22 see I think Im gonna struggle if I dont get validated for what I went through, but as to the how and when I bring it up I really dont know at the moment. Its not entirely getting shoved under the carpet but more things are nice and we dont want to spoil that, perhaps as you say you just have to let things go! Im just taking things one day at a time.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I understand how you feel. I want to feel H has empathy for what I went and continue to go through, and I'm not even to piecing yet. It's interesting for me to think about whether or not I can ever let the dream of having my feelings validated and understood about this go. But returning WAS might consider seeking validation and empathy rubbing something in their face for some reason.
I'm with you ladies - H and I had a talk last night. He got the "misunderstanding" logically, but I don't think he really empathized with my feelings. I'm with you - one day at a time and eventually perhaps they can empathize ....
And by the way, LR, congrats on day 2. Good job avoiding the lonely feeling. Although it may never completely go away, it's good to have your darling companion back.
So glad to hear things are going well Rabbit! I think we have to be patient on the empathizing. I think WAS's had to learn to shut off empathy in order to justify their choices to WA so "turning it back on" takes some time and forces them to also face guilt, which is hard. Baby steps!
Just a couple of journalling things, went in the front bedroom which used to be H's bedroom now his dressing room and bathroom just for convenience. On the window sill is a couple of cards I wrote to him, one to say thank you for his help with Babycakes when she had her accident and then another that I sent home in his bag before xmas. Interesting that he has kept them I know I saw them when I went down to his place he had popped them in his bedside draw, I liked to imagine him re-reading them.. But also that he brought them back and put them up..
Silly thing he used to get undressed in the front room as he said it was just easier but it made me feel like he was still coming into our room not that it was his room, but this last week he has started chucking his clothes on the floor and hanging things on the bedend, never thought I'd be pleased to see him being messy lol!
Thirdly tonight quite sweet I txt him to say I hope he was enjoying himself and he phoned me, said he started to txt and then thought this is silly I will phone her for a quick chat..
Only fly in the ointment at the moment is him still not having a job, please please can something more positive happen on that front soon!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
And here you are concerned about his new stuff he had bought while away, and he has your cards front and center! And fully in the bedroom with you. Could not be happier for you LR! Such fine rewards for all your hard work last year. You deserve it!
As for the job thing - I will pray and hope for you two -
