If by "left the program" you mean filed for D yes I am aware of that. This is no reason to give up... OR to leave your H with the idea that you are having an affair... that's NOT going to improve the situation in my opinion.
My advice is to read NJF and get him someone to talk to who KNOWS what they are doing... the OW is NOT a therapist... if she was she would lose her license and be in jail....
