if he's still in la-la land protest and cut him out of your life - zero access
if he's apologetic.. get him into FT and let someone ELSE do the work of educating him
Right NOW I think FT would be a good idea if you can afford it... he may SEE you going and volunteer to go...
By the sounds of it he is feeling guilty and embarassed, but he's still got this idea that his behaviour was justifiable.. from my reading of these posts anyways.
He's TRYING to talk to her, that's a sign of guilt. If he's guilty he has doubts about what he's doing... where there's doubt, there's hope
I would find a good FT in your area and start going... give him the business card and tell him he's welcome to use it
But you NEED to CUT OFF ALL ACCESS to you right now.. right now he NEEDS your attention and wants to hear how you feel ... CUT HIM OFF until he is in FT and has made a No contact agreement.
He needs education right now, and its too much work for you to do all of that... get him into FT if you can.
Just go yoruself and he will likely go as well... separate appointments... go to the same FT...
Make sure they are experienced with infidelity cases and have read Glass and Davis... If they haven't dont waste your time on them
