Thanks for the feedback from everyone! I really appreciate it!
Pearl, thanks also for the link to that article. I have read that one before and had forgotten about it. It is really helpful to me and I think I need to re-read it often.
I have read the 5LL. I did the online quiz and asked H to do it. He said he started it and "got frustrated". Not sure why, but I didn't push it and let it go for now. But, I have a good idea what his LL are, and I've told him what mine are. He does make efforts to meet those for me, but I know we have a ways to go. I like your suggestions about doing a few things that I know speak his LL. I have been doing that pretty well I think, but still need to keep that in mind.
Last night, as we were falling asleep, H said to me "I am happy with you." and then... "I like coming home to you." I was welled up with emotion to hear those words and couldn't speak. so, I hugged him, we held each other and fell asleep that way. This morning he gave me a big hug.
We are moving in the right direction. I just have a really big wall until we get farther with re-building trust. I can feel it there, and have to honor it. But, I think I am doing pretty well with moving forward as best I can in the R, while still honoring my valid fears.
