Is it me? Or is it really everyone else? lol.

[iwantittowork]

that would be me trying to control her. I am not trying to control her in any way at all.

For about the dozenth time now, this is your biggest issue. I realize now that you don't understand the word 'control' in this situation, and why you fail to make any progress.

Your thought process and actions are all about things 'external' to you, and that is directly tied to 'control'

Everything you do, has an outside plan to gauge reaction from someone or something that you do, and not about you and yourself. That is something that you don't even see, but it is manipulation and control. Period.

This is one of about 100 or so examples in the past few months:

When you ask your stbxw if she can show you how to sew a button, it is not about sewing the button, it is about gaining time around your W, watching how she reacts to your question, gauging her response and then planning your next 'tactic' to continue.

All these things you claim are to 'keep a connection' with your stbxw are the same. Manipulative and controlling. You are attempting to sway the outcome of a situation to something you want.

You likely don't even realize this, so can't admit it as controlling and manipulative, and you will deny this is the case, and will refuse to look at this at the deeper level that I am talking about, and not just at the surface level.

This, again, is why you don't make any progress, and by progress, I mean progress on maturing into yourself.

You simply must look inside yourself at these issues to move forward, no one else but you can do this.