I agree. Remember we live together. She snooped on me before I realized not much I can do about it now except to leave this site which I am not going to do.
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You do not want her to stay married because of money
You didn't like my joke about Men of a Certain AGE?
I'm sorry things have taken a turn in this direction. I hope you realize that this is far from over.
I too went to a pisss poor MC. I mean terrrible.... I don't have much faith in most. They are people with their own issues and opinions just like the rest of us.
The funny thing is though, because they are labeled a C, many people think whatever they say must be right. F that. C's are people and like people there are good and bad ones.
Originally Posted By: Was2sad
Not to take free shots at her, but it doesn't sound like she knows long term what she wants from life, despite her note about "an active plan for the future" or "the challenging things going on and the need to change". Hindsight is me having my head up my - - - for thinking she wanted to work at anything, and not presuming her note to be total alien speak. She's good.
Her letter is very interesting. They tend to speak in code.
I don't doubt that she feels this way. IMO however, it is one big projection. Her speaking of the importance of having a plan...... In MLC terms or Alien speak as you like to call it probably means she feels lost and I don't have to remind you that she is incapable of looking inward at the moment so who's to blame? You.
She speaks of needing this big change. On one hand she is correct, things need to change, again however, as ALL MLC'ers do or can't do I should say. She can't seem to accept the fact that SHE is responsible for this change that needs to take place. Not you....
As far as the money is concerned, par for the course in mlc land. She's shooting herself in the foot here. What she is failing to realize is that you will not be around to support her after getting what she thinks she wants.
She is depressed and hurting, desperately looking for a quick fix or the path of least resistance. Blame you and the marriage is it for now.
Most of them will have to learn for themselves, that the only way to get through this is to face their fears and deal with their issues. You have to let them go to travel down every dead end road. She has to see for herself.
My H and I went to 2 MC Sessions - we should have never went to the second session with the guy as soon as he told us he was DIVORCED!
The second session was terrible - he basically forced my H to make a decision to leave! So he DID - that night. He has been gone now for 2 weeks ! I even said "I am sorry that the MC made you make a decision neither one of us was ready for" I honestly believe that if we had a MC that did not believe in divorce - believed in setting goals and doing 180s we would not be seperated but working on getting back on track together in ONE house!
LNG Me - 37 H - 42 S - 19 D - 16 D - 14 M - 20 years S - 1/11/2010 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1942142&page=1
Here's a good one that makes no sense. We had a flood in our house(the basement) a few months ago. We collected from the insurance company quite a bit of money.(7-$9000). She is in the process of redecorating our our basement so it will be exactly the way SHE wants it. Does this sound like someone that want to sell their house and get divorced?
Also last night she engaged me in a conversation about my father. It really seems like she is trying to reconnect with me but I think we may have just scared her at the MC session. I will be shocked if she follows through with the advice of the MC to get D.
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I hope you realize that this is far from over.
I know! Like I said in a previous post it is almost like a comedy movie but it is being acted out in real life and is so sad.
The following post is rated "anti-db". Newbies do not read. Anyone else that wants to hit me with a 2x4 feel free. I already know!
To start off with if MRS. OP is reading this. I LOVE YOU!!!!
Was snooping again and found all the info that my wife used to write her letter to me. I believe it was a lot of her ideas but it was composed by her IC in FL. I also found a letter that gives her new IC permission to talk to our MC.(it is dated tomorrow which I find curious). Also found her notes on why she wants to stay married to me and why she wants to D me. It was about 50/50. Equal amount of reasons on both sides. She spent the day yesterday on the phone with this IC.
Today she goes to the labor lawyer. I was afraid that she was going to start the D proceeding with this visit but I don't think that is going to happen. I questioned her about the L and she explained what was going to happen. Calmly with no mention of D or anything else, so I may be wrong that she was rolling this into one lawsuit/visit.
I was going to stay NC with her but we have been having some conversation, no R talk, but short conversations about things that are happening.
So I have vented now. If anyone wants to take a shot - swing away.
If indeed Mrs. OP is reading this, hopefully she will see it as an action you have taken to better yourself and maybe make a bit of that change spoken about in the letter. However that my friend is out of your control.
