Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[avermont]

Can you point me to the right version of Art of Seduction?

I got something by Robert Greene and it is just unreadable.

Amazon lists a number of books but none of them seemed right.

Thanks!

[newmama]

Hahaha Avermont, YES a lot of the Art of Seduction is hard to get through (i.e. unreadable) But at the end of each chapter lies the meat of how to do each approach! So it is not an easy read but if you scan and then hone in on the tips, it makes it more "doable!" Again, I think sgotx recommended it to me.

[newmama]

Ok, so I had the music on, looked good, the candle scent filled the house, wore the lipstick and quickly left like I was going to be late if I didn't get out of there!

Went to a local pub that I had visited once before. I sat at the bar and ordered a beer and food. (I calculated how much I would need to work out tomorrow and how little I should eat to make up for the meal!) I took out my book and notebook and started taking notes. To my surprise, the waitress asks what I am studying, like it's for a class! I could have just been honest and said "this is for self enrichment...trying to woo my "husband" but before I could take it back I said "It's for my Philosophy of Love and Sex class!"

She said "Oh, where are you taking it? Is it at BSU?" I just nodded. She asked who my teacher was. I said "Uhhh..." and she said "Oh is it so and so, the really tall and theatrical gay guy?" I just said "yes!" It cracked me up because it was like in the movies or something! You know, where it is unrealistic that a person could crash a party or almost gets caught doing something but then gets away with it by PURE LUCK!

And luckily she never followed up with other questions. So then I ate and drank and read and headed to my belly dancing class. Damn, it was harder than I remembered! But I stuck it out! 7 more weeks to go. After I had some time to kill so I went to another restaurant and ordered a marionberry crumble BUT only ate half. (damn it- it just called my name!) I arrived home almost at 10.Usually it is around 9:30.

WH didn't have much to say other than S' night. I didn't say much. He said he'd be here tomorrow to pick up S.

Oh and my W2 arrived in the mail...he said "this year" we'll file jointly as planned, then split the return and he would just take care of it. Yes, it bothered me but I said "ok, thanks!" (because he is the one filing and doing the work)

And yes, I get tired thinking of all the hard work I am putting forth and wondering if it is worth it. I know we all tend to remember the "rosy times" of our relationship when it ends if we were the ones "dumped." Sure, I could meet another fella. It wouldn't be WH but he isn't perfect. It just sucks that we have a brand new baby together. &^%$##@!)(*&

[P17]

Newmama, as it's nearly the end of the month. Do you think you have got any closer to your goal of WH returning?

Have you thought any more about your next step?

[newmama]

Hi, P,
I have to do more of being physically distant...meaning longer than what I have managed so far. I just started my classes last week so I want to keep going. And that will be it...be physically gone as much as possible but keep up the mystery and "seduction". I won't be filing for D.

[june72]

Gosh, newmama, I thought I read a while back they you had a New Years deadline for filing yourself- did I read wrong, did you change your mind?

Personally, I think he is normalizing- he is perfectly content. I mean I think this is what he wanted all along, right? The OW and then for you to be "friends" with him- no discomfort or conflict. Why would he change anything. I think he may not file for D just so the status quo does not change in anyway. He has it too good at the moment. Deep down, I think he knows you still want him.

IMO

Are you trying to wait out the OW and see if she gives up?

[newmama]

Hi, June, thanks for commenting! Yeah in November I thought I would file for D in January. Well I changed my mind to put it simply!

If WH is normalizing, he won't be able to live like this forever! Seriously, he would eventually file for D if that is what he wanted! So I am not worried about the length of time. I just get tired sometimes but it doesn't mean I will be giving up--just being honest.

I am sure he knows I still want him because I haven't filed for D but I don't see how that is a bad thing. In my gut, with my sitch and with him, I think that if he thought I didn't want him then he would "set me free" with a D.

I guess I am waiting out the OW .

Tonight he takes S overnight but returns him at 12 tomorrow. Hopefully he will just drop him off and go but if not, I will tell him that S and I have plans and need to leave.

So I will be looking good tonight to go out and I think I will be on the phone when he walks through the door, "confirming my plans" Actually, next week I have plans but I don't tonight but it is OK! I will exercise and play my wii and just have some time alone in my house but I really will be ok! S will wake up several times I am positive so they won't have a smooth night! And hopefully OW and WH will argue about how to get him back to sleep! hahahaha

[mindfull]

Newmama -

Good Luck w/your first overnight w/out your son. Yell if you need us!!!

[june72]

Oh boy, I hope they are not proponents of the Cry It Out method. Not sure how you feel about that but I personally hate it... just thinking out loud.

[newmama]

Well, WH and I are not fans of CIO! BUT OW is!