Good Lord! If only I had you next to me, actually moving my jaw for me to form the words! You are such a smile!
I think admitting the fears was a good first step. Wrapping my arms around them, without getting comfortable is next... Understanding their value/lack of is after that...
Then, I guess I'll need a fumigator.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
After I read your thread, I went online our church's website and looked for the messages on this. I have four to listen to this am.
(I have to get some work done first, so I have a job!!!)
S10 has struggled w/asthma since he was 18-months old. Luckily, it's only requiring treatment when he gets something respiratory. We are on the same page... I was going to ask the naturopath about him when I go next week. Great minds!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Okay, so I do follow along with your thread and a couple others over here in newcomers (have to say, some are very entertaining! I haven't posted much lately - can barely keep up with life these days.
I know about the fear thing - sitting here this morning practictally paralyzed with fear. And then I read ST's comment about fear and that was a great reminder to me, too, about Who is in control so I have nothing to fear. Fear is such a waste of energy - wish I had better control of it.
Fear - of being w/out the person I'm closest to...
You are the person you are closest to! That's why you should be making sure you are taking care of her first!
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Fear - of my boys growing up in a broken home...
I understand.... I think part of the problem is that we call it a broken home. My boys are now growing up in a "broken" home, but to me, it feels a lot less broken than it did before. There are different kinds of broken, in my opinion the kind of broken you have now is worse than the kind of broken you fear.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Fear - my daughter being alienated from the man she thinks of as Dad.
I think this one is going to be his choice, and perhaps hers. And, you can encourage them to not let that happen. The relationships will change, but they don't have to end.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Fear - not being able to handle it financially on my own (even though I make a great living, we're in the middle of an IRS nightmare).
Most nightmares do have an end. Your talents, skills, and determination will see you through.
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Fear - loneliness.
I have to say, I have trouble seeing mindfull lonely! You've got your kids, your friends, and who knows how many other people you know! In a way, I'd say you are about as lonely as you can get as things stand now, since what you want is right there, and unavailable. How can it be worse than that?
Originally Posted By: mindfull
Fear - losing my Love.
Well, perhaps. But is it maybe more fear of losing the idea of what you wish you had? There's a lot more living to do. And you have a lot of love to share. He can step up, that would be great. But if not, well, I think there could be better things ahead.
The unknown is scary, no doubt about that. But letting the fear paralyze us doesn't really help. One way or another, things are going to change. You can let the fear control you, and get whatever change comes, or you can take control of your life, and direct the change.
We are on the same page... I was going to ask the naturopath about him when I go next week. Great minds!
that's great! I just hate seeing kids on so many drugs. do you know that the generation of children today are taking more drugs than elderly people?? is that insane? there is definitely something wrong, and we need to go back to the basics, the things God gave us, not what man tried to make better.
I'm so glad you went to your church's website. Did you find anything helpful? someone brought up the word control. That was a huge problem for me, as I just HAVE to know what is going on, and want to know what is going to happen, but I realized that when I do this, I am just trying to be in control when instead, I should be giving the control to God. That was a big step for me, and I have much less stress now because of it. I mean, I should be freaking out all the time because we are practically going Bankrupt with James still unemployed, but I continue to give it to God, and I'm continuing to tithe even though we don't even have enough to pay our bills, but somehow I am able to keep paying. My church sent me $200 this week and I never even asked for help! what a huge blessing!!
anyways, I don't want you to have a sad smile. I want you to be in the joy of the Lord.
I remember a time when I really wasn't sure if I would ever get my H back, and I made a list of the husband I wanted and that I believed God would give me. I was almost excited about it because I believed and trusted that God was going to give me this person someday.
well, my H isn't EVERYTHING on the list, but he is so much more than he was before and he is growing into that list more and more.
1 Peter 5:6-11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I haven't posted much lately - can barely keep up with life these days.