Spouse Suffering From Depression

[Lucky11too]

I was really hoping that as he was getting help for the other issues that the drinking would get fixed too. He said he was cutting back before but now as soon as the depression comes back (very cyclical), he turns right back to it. =\

I'm just not sure what to do with this whole situation. I haven't talked to H since that night. It's weird how quiet it is b/c we had gotten to a point where we were used to talking all the time. I don't want him to back track too far but on the other hand, his actions are still not ok and I'm still upset that he wasn't there for us b/c he was too busy getting stupid drunk! I can't "discuss" the issues with the him b/c it's useless as he completely shuts down and gets in defense mood, but I can't just act like everything is all happy too. Do I just go in wait mood and don't contact him until he contacts me? I don't want him to sit there and build more resentment against me but on the other hand, he needs to have some consequences for his actions. Any thoughts on how i should handle this currently? Obviously there are huge issues long term, but I need a plan of action for the short term.

Also, this is the weekend OW is moving back to her hometown (last I heard), so I'm sure they'll find that as a great excuse to have a going away drunk bash. Great. What's weird is that he seems done with that whole "friendship". He removed her from his FB friends last week and hasn't spoken about her recently. It's funny after all the time he told how they were just friends and how he saw her as a "lifetime friend" that he could now be done with her so easily. Whatever. But it seems he's already finding other people to fill that void - partially me but then also all his new party boy friends. Not good.

One last thing I remembered from our discussion from the other night. He said he found someone who he thinks he might room with next. It's one of his sports bar friends that is a manager at a restaurant nearby - but at least it's a guy. I asked him if he was a clean guy, and he asked what I meant, and I said about him not into drugs and alcohol. He said, well of course he drinks. We all drink. I tried to tell him that he should find a roommate that would be a good influence on him and it just made him more annoyed. It saddens me that it doesn't even appear to be a thought on his mind (or at least he doesn't say anything) about moving back with us. I don't know what he wants out of this life, but I don't think he exactly does either...