My H and exbest friend said the same thing "talked with each other about problems" which fine if you need to talk to someone, we all do, but do it with same sex. It gets too dangerous when it's the opposite sex. I think you're doing a great job mb keeping your composure, staying strong, great job!
As she should be! I think she needs to deal with her H, her marriage, and family rather than living in a fantasy land. What I've learned is...it's imporant to understand what they were seeking that they got from the other person. Learn from that within our marriages. Easier said than done to talk about but .....
