I don't know how to post a link to my previous thread but its in newcomers, and its "mere weeks from separation."
I've made every mistake in the book, or not in the book. I have disregarded advice- not intentionally, but out of fear. The advise I did heed, worked well (180's, no R talk, etc).
My biggest mistakes have been pursuing, and letting insecurity and fear determine my actions. When WAW was depressed and sad, I was there to be w/ her- on one hand a 180 for me, I did not try to cheer her up, I validated her feelings, on the other hand it was an opportunity for more cake eating.
Perhaps busting the A was a mistake, I do not know. I did not let it go, I busted it to MIL as well. There is no smoking gun, there is no admission- w/o that, all I can do is wait until it fizzles.
WAW came home last night and said she was done. Another opportunity to DB and I failed. There was no crying or begging this time, but there was confrontation. There was pursuing. There was rationalizing and explaining.
I asked W not to come home, to give me the keys and gate key. I only got the gate key b/c I took it.
I explained to W that of course there is nothing good about the last 4 months. That she did not truly make any attempt to benefit from therapy or shared activities.
W said "I have no feelings left for you, your behavior has been very unattractive, you have invaded my privacy."
I assured her it would not have happened if there were not so many lies.
Some will say, and I agree, that it all starts now. That the past 4 months have been practice. I have detatched to the point of not crying, even knowing she's not coming home again except to get her things.
I am going NC for a whiile. I left a brief note letting her know my terms: communicate only if addressing lawyer, bills, taxes, dogs, or moving.
