dating and separation?

[trytryagain]

that is a very interesting way of looking at it. has that been the way "things" went in your relationship with your husband?

sadly, at some times, yes. his ADHD and constant need for stimulation has left me worried that i'm not "exciting" enough to hold his interest. so often in the past if he's done a boys night or been away on business, i'll try to one-up him by also going out, staying out later, trying to have more fun than him. i know it's not a competition, and it's sad to admit it (even to myself!) but i'm a lot more insecure than i let on. i don't know, i guess i thought if he went out and saw that i was going to stay home and watch movies on the couch he'd think, well, she's not very exciting. i think it's also been my way of saying, see how much fun i can have without you! which i know is not a very healthy expression of love. again. insecure.

i guess i won't bring up dating unless he does...it just KILLS me to think about him going out with someone else. maybe i'll be more open to it in a few months or later down the road, and i guess i DID flirt with a few guys while i was out the other night...but i just ended up feeling guilty.