Hi Opt ~
Finally got through all the great posts here. Whew! Not sure I can add much to what's already been posted.

I like the ideas of making your H feel safe at home and letting him know the steps you've made with your sibs, so he can "see" what you're doing while he's not there.

He sounds so scared. (looking in from the outside) You are doing a great job showing him you love him. Keep doing that. Maybe think of something that would be special for him - some type of a treat he would enjoy. Maybe something that would remind him of something wonderful. Maybe leave your D with your sibs and take H out on a date?

You did a great job in your talks with your SIL and your sister. It takes courage to be honest about the tough subjects.

This is a tough time for everyone.

You are doing a wonderful job taking care of everyone. Remember to take care of Optimist too!

Hope your D feels better soon.

(((((Optimist))))))

Mockers2 "Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Friedrich Nietzsche