Today I want to tell H to go f*ck himself. BUT, I didn't and I wasn't even nasty. I suppose I should give myself a pat on the back. Instead, I go back to that train of thought of, "What the hell am I doing wasting my time with this poor excuse of a husband!". I look at my little ones and think, you guys deserve so much better. I know better now then to share any of this with H so I am just venting here.
In my experience, it's not enough to just stop verbalizing thoughts like that because they still radiate outwards in ways that our H's pick up on very easily. I know that for myself, I need to start figuring out what the triggers are when I get so angry about things. Under anger, fear and hurt tend to lurk, and those are the feelings that we need to take care of. Also, the statement "H is a sorry excuse of a husband", would be exactly the kind of statement that would be a good starting point for doing The Work on (even though I totally get that you're venting).
Take care.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
