Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

hhh, you know I love you and I'm saying this because I do. Stop being defensive. Talia's 2x4 is what you need to hear and digest.

You hear stories about when you finally let go and move on, that is often when WAH comes back/reconsiders...that you can plant that seed of doubt in their mind.

The thing is, you haven't really let go. You were doing a great job of acting "as if," but you never got to detachment. You GAL in order to win him back and the WAS can sense that. By your eagerness now to meet up with H you're showing him that you still want him in your life and therefore he still has the upper hand.

Detachment means you don't let what someone says/does/doesn't say/doesn't do affect you and your happiness. We want you to get to that place so you make the best decisions for you and you alone.

It's time to just put aside all the "what if's" and self-doubt. You are on a one-way street and you can't go backwards, the only option is to move forward. As BF is so fond of saying (and BTW it irritates me immensely but it's true), "I can't change what happened in the past, I can only work on right now." No, that doesn't address your emotions but it's the mindset you need when making decisions. Wallowing just leaves you stuck in the mud. If you feel down then give yourself 10 minutes to cry or be miserable but when the time is up then you stop thinking about it.

Something else I've noticed: your thoughts about the future have all been negative lately. Why don't you focus on the positives? You know I'm not the sunny, bubbly, overly optimistic type but when faced with starting over again I finally figured out there was a lot to be excited about! So much that it hinders my reconciliation with BF.

I was happy to have the house all to myself. I could cook all the stuff BF won't eat. I went out with friends to bars and parties. I wore cute outfits and flirted with all kinds of men and finally got to kiss the celebrity who is #1 on my "list". I decided to move to the place that makes me happy because I didn't have to think about someone else's life and career. I had fun being me and it felt good.

I know there's a downside to being single too. But why focus on the bad stuff? Put your focus on what you want to happen, not what you're afraid will happen.

You are doing great and now its time to take that to the next level - the living for HHH only level where you are happy with you for no other reason than you are your fabulous sexy self.

This is what I want for you too!

Hugs and have fun in Vegas!