Just want my H back

[talia]

HHH,
Thanks for your response. Big Hugs - I know what I said was hard to hear. I'll challenge you a little more...

You are still making alot excuses and justifications for what you are doing. I don't think H respects you. You have done a TREMENDOUS job of not contacting him, now think back to when he has contacted you.... from what I've read (and I might be missing something) he's been in control. My goal is to get you being REALLY REALLY honest with yourself. Just because you FEEL one way dosen't me you can't act another.

Speaking personally - the thought of D breaks my hear, leaves a gaping hole, I still cry when I see our wedding pics - all the things you feel. BUT my decisions aren't based on the fact that I deeply want that back. They are based on whats best for me because I'm headed for D. If that changes - YEAHHHHH! - But if it dosen't I'm ok too. Thats true detachment.
Even your response was justifying in some way. I only did this... because he felt I was... etc. Just start asking yourself - now that I'm here.. what do I want for JUST ME. Do that and everything else will work out fine.

Find some IC - its been my saving grace - I think you will find it won't take you long to work through how you feel!

NOW for the love!! The feelings you have aren't wrong. NOTHING you feel is wrong - ever. Its ok to be upset - you should be upset - grieve - let yourself feel it all. You are a wonderful person - clearly we all can tell that. You are A GREAT CATCH and any man would be lucky to have you in his life. You are NOT the bad person here. You've done extraordinary things to save your marriage. You can walk away from this knowing that you held to your standards and you didn't fail. You do not need to feel bad for what you are doing. Everyone can do better at some point or another - we all need a few 2X4's now and then. Don't feel bad about what you did - you MAKE THE BEST DECISION YOU CAN WITH THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE AT THE TIME - if it turns out to be wrong you adjust and move forward. OR PUNT... as I like to call it

You are doing great and now its time to take that to the next level - the living for HHH only level where you are happy with you for no other reason than you are your fabulous sexy self.

I think you've done an amazing job in the situation - TRULY - You've handled it better than most.


We love you - we are here for you! Come here and we'll take care of you - good and bad

Talia