Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Sandi/Rocked
Great reality check as usual. I have slipped back to worrying too much about insignificant details. I do good for a while then slip back. I needed that. Now I do want to clarify a couple of things:
1) I am not calling her about her coming home and I'm not even mentioning it to her. I NEVER do that...she is texting me to say she is coming home, she is calling me to say I'm going to leave at this time, etc. Just about every day she tells me that she is going to make sure she comes home early.

2) Reguarly, probably 4 out of 5 days a week, she comes home to me and the girls being done with dinner and having a grand time. It makes her angry, she says it makes it feel like I'm having a competition with her over the kids.

3) Now I am guilty of reacting and maybe appearing controlling when she reguarly breaks the promise of coming home. That I can work on and need to work on and you are right I might be trying to make or force her to do the right thing. Guilty as charged there, thanks for the observation and I'm sure it is unattractive.

And why do you have to ask her if she's leaving first, and why do you have to ask her about the bedroom or basement? I just hope you can have the attitude of not caring what the blazes she does or doesn't do!

I probably was typeing too fast...she asked me if I was leaving first (someone has to stay until the nanny shows up) and she asked me last night if I would rather she work in the bedroom or the basement and I told her I didn't care one way or the other. That wasn't the answer she wanted, she wanted me to tell her my preference for some reason, but I didn't really have one so I just let it fade away.

Interesting comment on smiling too much. Guess I have read too much about that approach. So whats a better response when she asks if I'm alright?

I very well may be trying too hard...