Onwards and upwards!

[newmama]

While I am here W cannot live her fantasy. Now, I'm not being Mr Nice Guy by allowing her to continue her adultery. What I'm doing is removing all pressure on her A by me leaving. That is the only way it may crumble. While the big bad husband is around they have to stay together as I am pushing them together. Their love will hold me at bay. When I'm gone they can have a normal relationship with all the boring monotony that entails.

TRUE....very smart to move BUT:

I'm also removing all pressure on ME by leaving. Getting away is probably the best thing I could do.

This is the better reason to move! I feel relieved for you just thinking of it! I don't know how you handle being so close to their existence...you are stronger than you know!

To show how much I haven't detached, I'll tell you this. I was thinking. If W did ever want to reconcile, it would be hell to do it up here. EVERYBODY knows what's happened. If I move where I am going to, then nobody would know us. See, can't detach.

Like I have said before and got 2x4 (which is okay...we don't always have to agree ;-) ) I just don't believe one can fully detach unless one is dating someone else or has divorced. Just my opinion. But as for you reconciling in your home town, it could actually be a model for others. i.e. to show that it is possible to reconcile after an A- BUT you'd have to flaunt your renewed passion, LOL. On the other hand, starting over in a different location sounds a little easier and romantic, too.

[P17]

This is the better reason to move! I feel relieved for you just thinking of it! I don't know how you handle being so close to their existence...you are stronger than you know!

Thanks Newmama. I don't know if I'm stronger. It's really tough to know you're wife is about 500 yards from where you sleep naked in the bed and arms of another man. But you live with that. It's one of the easiest things to live with. As I said, the tossing our loving marriage (and it was loving, deeply deeply loving for at least 6 years) to the side of the road in a heart beat that causes me the most pain.

There is nothing left for me here. D's mum is actually thinking of moving to the same place as me as she sees life passing her by.

Like I have said before and got 2x4 (which is okay...we don't always have to agree ;-) ) I just don't believe one can fully detach unless one is dating someone else or has divorced. Just my opinion.

I would never give you a 2x4 Newmama! We just disagreed I think you can detach without those things. However, I can't

But as for you reconciling in your home town, it could actually be a model for others. i.e. to show that it is possible to reconcile after an A- BUT you'd have to flaunt your renewed passion, LOL.

This is something we always did. We ALWAYS flaunted our love. I love public displays of affections. EVERYWHERE we went we were always holding hands. EVERYWHERE. We always kissed in her store when I met her. She was always really happy and smily with everybody. When we made love she'd ALWAYS go to wowrk with a huge glowing smile on her face (that is her words not mine). I She was a happy woman. Everybody saw that. I don't know what they see now, but as I said on threads here before, the last time I did hear they were all complaining about her.

On the other hand, starting over in a different location sounds a little easier and romantic, too.

It does. But again, it's just not detaching The move is for ME not for US.

[P17]

Asked D to speak to MIL today to thank her for the birthday stuff. She got cut off on my mobile twice so MIL called the house to speak to her. They must have spoken for about 10 minutes. That was good.

I asked D if she wanted to speak to W again (as she didn't get to speak to her on Saturday night) and she said no. I asked her why and she said she wants to forget about her ... that was a bit of a shock.

Considering writing or speaking, face to face, to W and asking her to leave D alone and explaining why. I'm worried a little about D and I'm worried that W thinks she can have a relationship with D - the birthday card she sent her had 'All my love on it' - even I didn't put that and I'm her dad! It just felt a bit OTT. Anyway, it's just a thought running through my head at the moment so not sure. The other half of me just wants to let things go on as they are - stay in NC and just ignore her. Tell her nothing.

Don't know.

Off down to the city 100 miles from here on Thursday or Friday to check out property for rent. Still desperate to get out of here.

[newmama]

I say stay NC. You could ask D if she wants anything in the future that W might leave for her or does she want you to get rid of it. I know she is 8 but she did say she wanted to forget about W! Anyway that way you have a plan in place if W does attempt to contact you again but you can stay NC.

(subconsciously you might be looking for a reason to contact her)

[chatterbug]

good luck on the house hunting P.

[P17]

It's my birthday today.

Got a text from W this morning which I had to read twice:

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear P. Happy Birthday to you. Hope you have a fab day. W.

Now this is a stock text she sends when it's people's birthdays (she just edits the name, and in my case removed the kiss at the end), but I just thought WTF? Then, that was actually quite nice of her. To then, why did she send it? And then, doesn't matter, it is what it is. It was a nice gesture. She didn't have to do it.

I didn't reply to the text yet because a) I'm in NC and b) I'm far too busy doing birthday boy things to be replying of course.

I will reply tomorrow - she made the effort, I'll just reply 'Thanks for the happy birthday. Had a fantastic day!'

I spoke to my IC on Tuesday and, as usual, had a few days to chew over everything.

One thing we both agreed on is that I write not just scripts, or books about things that happen (such as the text on W's Facebook page about her being 'in the process of a divorce' and the couple of million reasons why) but actually complete novels

So my goal for the next while (no timeline on it) is to not write novels, or books. I would like to also say scripts too, but I want to make the goal achievable so I'm going to see how far I get with novels and books. I think I did a fair job with her text today. It confused me, put me off balance, worried me and then I thought, P it's actually only an effing text, it is what it is - a nice gesture. Or as my friend says 'a text to mess with your head' ... I don't think it's that, and if it is it's fell far off the mark.

Feeling good today. I'm actually off for a weekend away ... funnily enough to the island where OM came from LOL. I have friends over there and my mate's birthday was Monday so we traditionally spend the closest weekend together, watch some movies, drink some fine Scottish Malt Whisky (my BIL actually works for a distillery .... I have a 16 year old bottle of Scapa) and talk like mates who've known each other for 24 years do. We talk ... rubbish

See you all back here on Tuesday!

[newmama]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY P! XXXOOO!(I threw in the kisses and hugs)

If you choose to reply to W, just say "thanks!" and nothing else!

[chatterbug]

Happy B... P

So what turning 21 plus postage and handling

[P17]

Happy B... P
So what turning 21 plus postage and handling

Thank Cutter. I think I'd rather have the postage and handling. If I had the chance would I go back to being 21 again ...? Not on your life! I'm happy where I am now thank you!

Newmama, texted W with just a 'Thanks'. After I read your message I thought yeah, maybe I am going overboard. She is having an A ... remember P She made a nice gesture, I returned it. The end.

Hope you guys have a good weekend!

[P17]

Well, put me in a dress and call me Susan.

Just got a birthday card from MIL today!?! Okay it was a day late but that's not important, the thought was there and they sent one. Sent her a text thanking them both, saying it was very thoughtful and appreciated and hoping they were good and the weather was good (as it's snowing here again ).

A text from WAW. A card from MIL and FIL. I am beginning to feel all loved, warm and fuzzy inside

Sorry, forgot, WAW is having an A ... phew, nearly got sucked back in there ...

Thank goodness I still have my sense of humour. It has been pretty much absent the last 6 months And no scripts, books or novels have been written in the making of this message.

Now returning you back to your regular program of The Love Boat.