I meant that your view on this marital mess is just not sound, particularly given the depth and breadth of your wife's issues.
This isn't just divorcebusting some marital issues. Not in your case, at least with what you've told us.
From my perspective, your wife seems to always find herself in sexual situations with other people. My take is that these situations are not coincidences. Your wife doesn't just have bad luck with the men around her.
Given her background of abuse, doesn't it seem as though she sexualizes her relationships with men? The thought that somehow she just keeps winding up in compromising situations just doesn't wash with me.
Your wife, in my opinion only, needs significant therapy. I'm no doctor of any kind, but if she was abused, if she has had relatives, even her own brother, behave in sexually inappropriate ways with her, those things cause damage. They mess up your thinking and they shoot the hell out of your self image.
You're trying to save a marriage, and I appreciate that. But it seems to me that right now, your wife is the one that needs saving. I'm not sure what, if anything, you can contribute to making that happen. I'm inclined to think it's something that she is going to have to realize and pursue on her own.
Until she doesn, I'm not sure what you're saving.
Again, this is just my take on what you've shared. I may be way off base.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
