I agree. I take into account what W might think. So how do I do it differently? I just do it and not worry about how she might take it?
So the basic thought is detach first, then reconcile later. Correct?
Kevin
yes kevin.....you have to do the first one to accomplish the 2nd....this is NOT the first time you've been advised of this...But "YES" - is the answer. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
A person who claims to be from Africa e-mails you and says they need you to transfer money from them because you just won money (or inherited it, there are several versions) but due to international wire transfer regulations you have to put up the money first. It has been around for a few years now.
For your sake - if anybody from any foreign country contacts you to do anything with money don't do it.
For your sake - if anybody from any foreign country contacts you to do anything with money don't do it.
Believe me. I am smarter than that. But thanks for the info. I always check out prospects when contacted especially if it looks real but something sounds to good to be true. I am not a sucker in that area and I have no interest in being scammed or going to jail.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
What is it, about advice for you to work on you, that frightens you so much?
25, I don't know. Right now I am just not sure about much in my life. I don't know what the future holds and I don't know how to change the future career wise and M wise.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Sometimes I just want to put you in my pocket and keep you safe.
I am not sure how to feel about that. lol.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I like the scam baiters. The people that scam the scammers. 419eater.com has lots of pictures and info.
As for resumes...I got my current job by bombarding many companies with my one page resume. I had several interviews and job offers and was able to be picky. But that was 22 years ago.
W just called. Wanted me to come over and do a taste test for D8's science project. I told her I was heading to Mass and then going to help out there afterwords for some work that needed to be done. She then asked if I could swing by on the way home. I said sure if I get off in time.
Then she tells me she turned down the permanent job offer and took the contact position that pays $44 an hour even though it is a 6 month contract. But she was told it could probably go longer. She decided she was worth more than 60k even if it was a permanent position.
Great, back into fantasy land for her money wise. I thought she would at least start being grounded at a modest salary. I guess the pressure of that was to much. She said it wasn't going to work for what she needed. I said ok.
Well, good for her in whatever she decides. At least she has options.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
What is it, about advice for you to work on you, that frightens you so much?
25, I don't know. Right now I am just not sure about much in my life. I don't know what the future holds and I don't know how to change the future career wise and M wise.
Kevin
Kevin,
Since I seem to be having the same problem (and I'm also unemployed)...maybe I can step up and offer an explanation for why people in our position resist change.
When our W or SO dropped the bomb and/or walked out on us...the world we know/knew is turned upside down and changed forever. We're left in such a lost and devastated state, that we cant bear to see anything else change. We're desperately grasping out trying to stop this runaway train now known as our life, as we believe any further changes only decreases the stability we have, not increasing it.
Does any of that sound accurate? I know it is for me and dont want to speak for someone else but I thought if I voiced how I was feeling maybe others might be feeling the same way.
Also Kevin...I feel your pain with respect to the financial aspects of your situation. With you, your W has gotten a pretty good paying job which prevents her from feeling/facing reality and all the fincial distresses that being on her own would bring. With me, my SO moved in with her father who has taken on most of her bills. She isnt likely to realize anything I did as a provider for our family so long as she's not on her own.
