One other thing I will add is that I need to feel strong and empowered now, not weak...and the positive motivation helps me, not so the harshness. I don't want to feel 'shaky' for lack of a better word as I go about my life and also do the inevitable correspondence w H. I think I have done everything I can to save this marriage and practicing acceptance and letting go is an everyday commitment, and not always easy.
I know I am a good person and have a lot to offer - and H has been a jerk across this past yr - it helps to remind myself of that and then the good in me. (and I guess your message just 'shook' me a bit, like I was flawed for feeling this way and trying to be cautious about how I approach the situation..i'm trying to be strong and in a positive place, and it just made me feel a little weak, to be honest).
I don't want to operate out of fear but please understand that I have been burned before as I've experimented with different approaches that seemed to backfire. What helps me - and what i've been doing - is going out and having fun and focusing on other things and work as needed, etc.. and you guys of all people know that this roller coaster is normal, and it's OK to feel this way from time to time. Past posts from 25 and Pearl have been honest and inspirational to me...I guess I need more inspiration at this point.
Your email correspondence suggestions were very good, yes, and totally neutral...and I will likely send a very similar email in the coming days (might just have my L consultation first) - but why do I still feel fear in sending them? I don't know, but I do.
