Next steps

[avermont]

Yes, he can't be any more gone, other than being physically in my life due to the town and the house issue.

I HAVE accepted he is gone. I am not thinking anymore about what I do that will have an affect good or bad on him. I don't think I have posted anything to that effect? Only wanted to look good and confident if we had to meet for bills/taxes.

Taxes will all be done via email now, so there really will be no face to face for anything for the foreseeable future. Taxes, tenants,house--these are just physical realities that I have to deal with.

If I do the theatre thing, it will be to be part of a community project; to keep me busy; something I enjoy. It won't be because he will fall back in love with me once he sees my technical/design prowess.

OK--I am a strong, independent woman. I can't be any other way. I can work on projecting being happier and more positive--as taking a neg view of things is my normal mindset. I can actively work on my neg thoughts (have been working on that!) and putting out there a more positive Avermont. I don't want to be a fake Pollyanna--everyone knows Avermont as having a sharp and acerbic sense of humor--so I don't want to be fakey happy happy. But work on"if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything" I have been doing more of that lately.

And then I need some time and mindspace to really think about what I want to do with my life. Maybe I don't want to change anything, as I am pretty happy with job, friends, town. I just need to expand my circle of friends to get out of the couples world.

Keep the 2x4's coming.